Royally F**ked (Royal Bastards MC: Royal Sons CA Book 6) Page 8

  His hands balled into fists, then relaxed. “That’s true, but that isn’t me, Tai. If I want to fuck, I don’t have to force a woman. Ever. I have never and would never, and I sure as shit ain’t gonna start with a little thing like you,” he snarled, took a deep breath. “I understand your fear. Hell, I was in your shoes. It took me a long ass time before I trusted a female enough to actually sleep in a bed with one. I still have nightmares, they’re seldom, but they come. When they do, I usually have to go work it out in the gym, or go for a run, something to tire my body out.”

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

  He got up, grabbing his beer. “Don’t be sorry, ever. You have a right to your feelings, Baby Girl. Just know that with me you are safe. Go on in there and try to get some sleep. I’m gonna hit the shower myself.” He downed the rest of his beer, skating around her.

  She wished she was braver, wished she hadn’t said what she had. “One day, I’ll be like you,” she told his back.

  “God, I hope you never are.” He didn’t turn around, going inside the bathroom and shutting the door. The man staring back at him was the same one who he’d seen every day for the last fourteen years. Sure, he’d bulked up, gotten some tattoos, but he’s basically the same. Well, he also had facial hair, something his father forbid the first seventeen years of his life. “Yeah, fucking pedophiles didn’t like fucking men,” he growled.

  When he realized he was gripping the counter so hard his knuckles were white, he took a couple deep breaths and released his fingers one at a time. Some would’ve said he should’ve gone to therapy. His choice of talking it out had been to go through his sperm donor of a father’s computer and paperwork. The stupid bastard had thought he’d been untouchable as had many of the other sick fucks, until one-by-one Cosmo began hunting them. He’d used the ill-gotten gains to fund his schooling, his training, and he’d taken his time planning.

  Oh, it hadn’t been easy or overnight. There had been a lot of bastards knocking on his door, but he hadn’t been Cosimo’s son without learning a few things. Like how to hide and how to get out before they’d found him. After the news broke of the two men, the one he’d killed along with his guard, and then his own father’s death, the underground network had scrambled like the cockroaches they were. He’d anticipated their moves since his father was the head cockroach, so they hadn’t thought to cut his links off. Stupid fuckers.

  He stood up, staring at his reflection, once again glad he resembled his mama and her side of the family. His father had lamented the fact he hadn’t taken after him more except in height, which he’d wished his son would’ve been shorter, like his tiny mother. More than likely that was because short boys made for better fuck toys. They stayed small forever. “Enough,” he growled, his fist lashing out and breaking the mirror with one blow.

  Glass shattered, raining down onto the vanity. He looked down dispassionately at the cuts and blood on his knuckles. None were bad enough he’d need stitches. “Fuck me.” He shook his head, looking at the closed door, hoping like Hell Tai hadn’t heard his mantrum.

  Before he could do anything else, he turned the sink to the right on, that one didn’t have any glass in it and cleaned his hand up. Under the sink, he got out the first aid kit, quickly wrapping his hand up, then stared at the mess he’d made. Dammit, he hated the memories that made him do stupid shit, hated the fact he lost control and fucked shit up. At least there was still one good mirror. The thought made him grin. If there was anything his mama had taught him it was to always look for the silver lining in things, it was the one thing he’d done and continued to try to do. It was the one thing he was going to try to teach Tai if she gave him a chance.

  He got the trashcan out from under the sink, taking care he didn’t cut himself anymore. The last thing he wanted was to have Tai come in and accidentally cut herself. Once he had the mess cleared away, he stripped out of his dirty clothing, grimacing at the bloodstains marring his jeans. Luckily his cut was leather and easily wiped off, or at worst, he could have it cleaned. A little more blood on it would just be adding to the character of the piece.

  His jeans got added to the garbage can, and then he stepped into the shower, noticing Tai had used his shampoo instead of the newer girlie shit that was sitting on the ledge. A smile tipped the corner of his lips as he thought of her choosing his instead of the other. He liked to think it was because she wanted to be closer to him, but knew it was more than likely due to the fact she didn’t want to bother opening the other one.

  After scrubbing his hair and body, he stood with his arms braced against the tile wall while the hot water ran over him. At one time, he hadn’t lingered long with his clothes off, fear of being walked in on had been like second nature. Now, he took pleasure in small things like standing until the water ran cold with nothing on but his skin. When the cold water began to pepper him, he twisted the knob, then stepped out onto the rug, snatching a towel off the rack. He’d given Tai a big fluffy one from the linen closet. For him, he didn’t give two shits what the towel looked or felt like. For her though, he wanted to give her the best of everything. Once he ascertained what kind of things she liked, he’d get online and order her some clothing. In the past, he’d have just ordered what he liked, however with her, he wanted to make sure she got whatever she wanted.

  He glanced at his watch, noticing an hour had passed. Fuck, he hadn’t realized he’d spent so much time screwing around. Of course, that was the nature of his beast or rather beast of burden. Sometimes his mind wandered into the past, and he would find time had slipped away.

  Walking toward the door, he opened it with care. His bag with a couple changes of clothes sat over by the chair he’d been sitting in. Why he hadn’t thought to bring it into the bathroom with him? He blamed it on his screwed-up head. Luckily Tai was in the bedroom, otherwise she’d probably be freaking out as he came out of the bathroom with the towel wrapped around his waist.

  The huge duffel had more shit in it than most people took on a weeks’ vacation. His laptop, two burner phones, enough cash to see him and a family of five live comfortably for a couple months, along with a few outfits made up of jeans, T-shirts and boxer briefs, plus a spare pair of boots. He never let anyone else carry his go-bag, or they’d wonder why it was so heavy.

  Cosmo laid the laptop on the side-table, then pulled out a pair of boxer briefs, debating on whether to put on a pair of jeans. In the end, he decided Tai would feel more comfortable if he was semi-dressed. He would sleep good in the jeans, but as the saying went, you’ll sleep when you’re dead, he figured that was true and hoped he wouldn’t find out for at least another fifty years.

  It was tempting to grab a drink and drown his fucked-up worries in a bottle, but tomorrow he would have to face another day with the same bullshit that crowded in tonight. So, he did like he always did. He sat down and opened his computer. His MC brother, Keys, may be the resident computer geek, but he wasn’t bad either, plus he had a fuckton of money that had afforded him classes and the best equipment money could buy. The fact he had time to do it without distractions, like family and friends was something he’d taken advantage of.

  Once he had his search engine pulled up, it was easy for him to find what he was looking for. The Dark Web was a quagmire for those unsuspecting, but he navigated his way through the backdoors easily. Sick fucks didn’t change their spots, kind of like leopards.

  He wasn’t sure how much time had passed when he heard Tai whimper from the other room. The information he gathered was what he’d expected to find, which still turned his stomach. He closed the computer down, put it back into the protective sleeve, then stored it back in the bag. If someone tried to log into it, it would scramble and fry on the spot. A failsafe system that had saved him on more than one occasion.

  Snagging a bottle of water out of the fridge on his way into the bedroom, he stood in the doorway, looking at the tiny figure in the large bed. He wasn’t surprised she chose the side closest to the wall, n
or was he shocked to see she hadn’t taken off the clothes he’d given her.

  He tipped the bottle up to his mouth, drinking half the cool liquid down while he leaned on the frame, staring at her like a damn stalker. There was something about her that drew him, like a moth to a flame.

  He didn’t want to delve all that deep into his psyche, so he sat and waited to see if she was having a nightmare before going over to the chair in the far corner, where he settled his large frame. He’d slept in the chair many times when the bed was too—much for him. With the room shrouded in darkness, he could barely make out Tai’s body until she shifted, rolling onto her back. Her long dark hair in the braid she’d done it in after her shower covered her face, clearly annoying her as she reached up in her sleep and moved it out of her way. He smiled as he drank the last of the water. There he sat, with his well-ordered life turned upside down by a little sprite of a woman.

  He’d gone to The Club to relax, enjoy a few drinks with his friend Duke, and maybe find a willing woman for the night. What he ended up with was a whole lot of mixed feelings, a woman who danced like an angel, had eyes that broke his heart, made his dick hard, his gut clench, and had his heart hammering in equal measures. He remembered the look his mama had in her eyes whenever she’d looked at his father. She’d loved that bastard, yet he’d stood there and shot her without an ounce of remorse. Tai had stood there when the girl next to her had been shot, yet she hadn’t broken. No, his girl was a fighter, just like he was. He needed to show her the woman he saw instead of the broken one she did.

  With his legs splayed, his hands clenched between them, he thought of all the things he’d like to do with the fucker who had bought and sold Tai, and other women like her. He had known shit like she’d described went on, fuck they took out sex trafficking all the motherfucking time, but he hadn’t allowed himself to get involved in the victims’ lives. With a heavy sigh, he relaxed back, his eyes burning from lack of sleep. Tomorrow he’d share with King and the others what he’d learned, but at the end of the day, he’d be the one protecting Tai.

  The moment he felt the air stir, his fight or flight instinct kicked in. His days of running were long gone. The second he woke, feeling as though someone was close to him, he immediately grabbed them, twisting until he had them underneath his body.

  “It’s me, Cosmo,” Tai said, her voice shaking with a mixture of fear and something else.

  He blinked, staring down at sleepy green eyes. “Dammit, Tai, you should know better than to get close to a...a man when he’s sleeping.” If his tone was gruff, it wasn’t his fault. The feel of her soft body was doing stupid shit to his own body.

  “You were mumbling and lashing out. I wanted—” she trailed off.

  “Ah, Baby Girl, you need a keeper. I’m the very last man you should be checking up on, especially when I ain’t lucid.” He worked to soothe his voice, but damn, having her sexy little body in his lap wasn’t doing him any favors.

  “I don’t believe that. In fact, I think you’re the exact one I should be with.”

  Chapter Seven

  Tai couldn’t believe she’d actually had the courage to go to Cosmo while he was clearly having a nightmare. There was an undefinable quality about him that had all her inner radars going quiet. No, that wasn’t quite right. She could see he was dangerous. Heck, anyone with eyes had to know he wasn’t one to mess with. But she also felt safe with him.

  “What the hell am I gonna do with you?” Cosmo tugged on her hair.

  She usually wore her hair in a tight bun when she was at the apartment. It hadn’t taken her long after the first altercation to learn anything and everything could be used as a weapon or weakness. “Let me go?” she suggested, even though she had nowhere to go.

  The grip on her hair tightened. “Where would you go, Dai-tai, and what would you do, hmm? If I were to say you were a free woman, where would you go? Which by the way, you are free. I’m never going to hold you against your will. I’m hoping you stay with me because you know I can keep you safe. Once I figure out who brought you here and eliminate the threat, I’ll help you get set up in a life where you don’t have to rely on anyone. I know what it’s like to feel powerless, baby. That’s the last thing I want you to feel. Trust me. I know it’s a lot to ask of a stranger, but you gotta start somewhere.”

  She yawned, the lack of sleep and stress catching up with her. “What time is it?”

  Cosmo lifted his wrist, the large face lit up showing her it was still a couple hours before the sun came up. “You could sleep with me. I mean...not sleep, but sleep.” She dropped her eyes, feeling all kinds of a fool.

  “I know what you meant. Come on, we both could use a little more sleep. You climb in and get comfortable. I gotta go to the bathroom.”

  Her cheeks had to be on fire from embarrassment. Luckily for her, the room was dark so he couldn’t see. “Alright. Um, do you have a side you prefer?”

  “I’ll take the one closest to the door.” Cosmo stood with her in his arms, heading toward the bed. He eased her down his frame, making sure she was steady before he moved back. “You need anything to drink or...?”

  “No, I’m good.”

  “I’ll be just a minute. Want me to leave the door open?”

  How can a man who was clearly rough around the edges, too sexy for words, and rich from what she’d seen, still put her needs before his own? “Thank you.”

  He ran the knuckles of his left hand down her cheek. That was when she noticed his bandaged hand. “What happened?” she gasped, pulling his hand up to her face, hating the darkness that kept her from seeing the damage done to him. She knew he hadn’t had an injury when she’d gone to bed.

  Cosmo pulled his hand away from her, stepping back. “It’s nothing. I had a little accident. I’ll be right back. You sure you don’t want a drink of water, or anything?”

  There was something about the way he spoke, an inflection that didn’t ring true. “Cosmo, if you don’t want to tell me the truth, then just tell me that, but please don’t lie to me. My entire life has been one lie after another. I don’t—I don’t want to have to second guess everything you say. Please just don’t, okay?”

  She turned and climbed into the big bed, feeling stupid for the tears that stung her eyes. At twenty-four, she’d been beaten more times in her life for things she hadn’t done. As the pariah of the family she had gotten used to it. Her grandma had done her best to shield her, yet even she had felt ashamed of the granddaughter who was half American, half Chinese. Always the one who was different had been her normal way of life. At least her mother had kept her instead of putting her in one of the homes for the unwanted babies. That’s what she’d been told her whole life, how gracious it was of them to allow her to live in their home.

  She rolled to the side, staring at the wall. How many times had she laid on her little pallet in the back of the house? She’d never had a bedroom like the rest of her family. She was allowed to sleep in the space off the side of the kitchen. Since she had to get up and cook breakfast for the family before doing the rest of her chores, which was cleaning up after the family. Her mother had said it made sense that was where she stayed, like they were doing her a favor. Maybe she could find work cooking or cleaning for a family; she was good at that type of work. She didn’t have any references though. Gah, she didn’t even have a green card or any kind of papers to be in America.

  Tai fought the tears that threatened to consume her. “You can get through this. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” The familiar words her Lǎo lao used to say soothed her wounded soul.

  Cosmo came back, the bed dipping as he got in. “One of my favorite proverbs is, that no matter how high a mountain is, it cannot block the sun.”

  “My mother believes that if you want your children to have a peaceful life, you let them suffer a little hunger and a little coldness.” She didn’t turn toward him as she spoke. It was easier to speak the truth without looking at him, even if he
couldn’t see her in the dark room with her back to him. Her family took that little proverb and ran with it, a little more harshly with her. She was the only one who had actually went to bed hungry and cold, while the rest ate heartily and slept with a blanket and pillow every night.

  “C’mere, Tai, let me hold you. Just hold you. I need you to help keep the nightmares at bay tonight.” Cosmo tugged until she was turned to him, fitting her into the crook of his arm.

  At first, she held herself stiff, then after a few minutes of him lying there with one arm locked around her shoulders, the other somewhere else, she slowly began to relax. After a few more minutes, his even breathing settled her even more until she too felt her eyes dropping, and then she drifted off to sleep.

  Cosmo knew the moment Tai allowed herself to go to sleep. He’d mastered the art of faking slumber in his early years, even though it hadn’t saved him from the monsters. Now, lying next to the little bit of a woman who was breaking him, he let his body and mind go blank, secure in the knowledge she’d be right next to him when they woke.

  Although he’d only been sleeping a few hours, his inner alarm clock roused him from slumber. The slight weight of Tai nestled along his right side had the usual reaction to his body that he’d expect any red-blooded male would have. He shifted, trying to move her thigh, which was precariously close to his dick, off him so he didn’t scare the fuck out of her and have her running from the room.

  Tai murmured as he shifted her, then froze. He felt it the moment she woke. “Morning, Baby Girl. I was just gonna get up and see about ordering some breakfast.”

  He thought if he mentioned getting out of bed and doing mundane things like eating, she’d relax. He thought wrong.

  “Where are we eating?”

  If there was one thing he could do and do well, it was read people. Tai was screaming nervousness and fear. “We can either go back to the bar where a lot of the brothers and their ole ladies who stayed last night will be, or we can eat here.”